Lost
by Angel K.D
Summary: She sits and reflects. She screams and roars with fire, and cries alone in her room. She doesn't know what lies ahead, but she does know she wants this to end. She wants to go home...Whatever that might mean. This is what became of Princess Azula...


She sat at the foot of the bed, stooped over with her hands clasped in front of her. Her body shook with her tears, and she was angry. She wanted to stand to her feet and throw a fit. She wanted to defile something, make something bleed, or make it scream. She wanted to wrench every wail from it to drown out the voices in her head. She feared she was going crazy.

The walls around her were closing in, suffocating her and making her squirm. They were the same walls she'd seen every single day for the past year. She knew it had been a year since she arrived because the sisters had made a small cake for her "to celebrate the day we met such a beautiful young lady" they'd said.

It had been an entire year ago that she had risen to her greatest height and fallen to her furthest depth. She thought she'd fallen too far to ever see the light again. Now she saw the light, in glimpses as though they were nigh impossible to catch hold of. Mostly, they appeared in dreams, where she would run forever and not once get any closer. She could see what lie past that shimmering spot though. Those visions were in her dreams, the good ones that she didn't regret.

In them she thought only of what she could be if life had turned out differently, or if somehow she got a second chance. She greatly doubted that she would, but it was always nice to dream. She knew when she laid down at night that there was going to be either peace or terror coming upon her in her slumber. She always prayed it would be peace, where she never wanted to leave the safety and warmth she found.

She felt cramped and confined, despite the freedom she had. There was not a place in this temple that she had not visited, nor was there anywhere she was forbidden to go. All the grounds were free for her, but she felt trapped her in this room. It was as if she was waiting for a battle or for her opponent to show up so that they could begin their war.

A scream clawed at her throat, and she wasn't sure if she was truly screaming or if it was in her head. She didn't really care; she was too far gone to care. And for once, she was glad the sisters had not included a mirror in her room. She wasn't in the mood to talk with her mother now. She didn't want to see the pitying look on that woman's face. It would be full of pity, hate, and lies.

It had been like this for a while now. She would talk and confide with the sisters, of whom she had her favorites. She would walk around the grounds, and enjoy the views this beautiful place offered. At other times, she would scream and rage and try to scorch the stone for all of time. Sometimes she would try to kill anyone who crossed into her sight, and she would attempt with all her might to burn down this hell, this peaceful place that didn't belong. Later she would reflect that it was her that didn't belong.

Her life had not been easy for her. She had a brother who was weak in her eyes, a mother who hated her, and a father that would accept nothing from her except perfection. She had no friends, not really, because they had shown their true colors. They only wanted to hurt her. So who was left for her? Who in this world could help? Was she destined to live the rest of her life her, replaying the past until she couldn't decipher the truth from the lies, and reality from dreams? The voices in her head gave her no answer.

The beautiful and heart-broken girl lay back on the bed, covering her face with her hands and breaking into sobs. She wanted to go home, and sleep in her bed. She wanted to see her big brother, and get a smile from her father just for being herself. With her whole heart she wanted to sit by the pond in the royal gardens with her mother while the woman brushed her hair, picking it up and tying it into a neat bun with a red ribbon. She wanted to joke and play in the waves with Mai and Ty Lee. She wanted to live, if only for a single day than to spend countless years here with no one to talk to but the sisters who were too full of light to truly see her, and her demons that used her mommy's face as a mask.

Night had fallen long since and the candle was the only source of comfort in this late hour. It was also the only witness besides the moon, and they both watched over her while she cried out to a god, or her mother, family, or anyone who could help her-anyone who could save her. The handmade sheets absorbed her tears, and the rustling wind her sounds of pain.

The sisters called her Azula, but she didn't know who she was. She just wanted the pain to go away, but this night was like every other. The torture would not go away until daybreak, leaving her exhausted and depressed until the next good dream would be bestowed upon her.

Yes, her name was Azula. And she wandered through hell while trying to find redemption somewhere within the dark depths of her mind.

Finish

Okay, I was upset and had shed a few tears while I wrote this. I don't know why I wrote this. It almost feels incomplete, but whatever. I don't know where this came from either, but hopefully you can make sense of it and enjoy it. I felt like I might've been in character, but I'm not sure. I'm in a weird mood, so I'll stop rambling. Please, let me know what you think on this. Reviews make my day sometimes. I also know that I need to get more into the habit of reviewing myself, but I'm trying. So please try for me. Thank you for reading this. God bless~


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